Blues Notes

What’s Really Real?!

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I don’t know why I haven’t updated in a minute, but here I am.  Let’s see….this has been an emotional week for me.  It all began last weekend while my family was here.  They saw how empty my cabinets were and how I’m living on the bare minimum.  I felt the worst when my parents took me grocery shopping.  There were moments while we were in Wal-Mart when my eyes filled with tears.  I mean come on….they’re helping me with my car payment, rent and now putting food in my belly.  Things shouldn’t be this way.  I’m 26!!!  I should be providing for myself.  Even though it wasn’t my money being spent I still shopped as though it was.  My mom kept saying things like, “you don’t wanna get some….,” or “I don’t know why she’s not getting….”  Well mom, know you know why.  I was embarrassed and I didn’t feel right.  Her reply would sound exactly like this, “Honey, we’re your parents.”  I love my parents for that.  And even though they’re trying to help me, I know they’re glad I’m not like I used to be when it came to grocery shopping.  They used to hate to take me because I would put whatever my little hands could touch in the basket.  Mom and Dad, I LOVE YOU and I appreciate all that you have done, are doing and going to do for me!!!  Oh yeah, Kayla does too.  
Another frustration:  The temp agency that I’m currently working for hasn’t been offering me any of the jobs that come through.  What makes it worse is the fact that I’m working in their office and can hear all of the assignments that come through.   You’d think they’d ask, “Julia, are you interested in blah blah blah?” before calling other people.  I’m more than capable and if I’m not they could test me to see how my scores are.  One of the recruiters from the other office called and I told her to add me to the available list in their office as well.  Then I turned around and told the branch manager at the office I’m at.  She acts as if she didn’t know I was still looking for a job.  Why wouldn’t I???  I’m bringing home less than $300 a week.  So she asks me, “Where do you live?” “What kind of job are you looking for?”  I tell her my situation and let her know that if I don’t have something permanent before the end of November I’m moving out of state.  Welllllll, another job comes through and she asks if I’m interested.  I let her know that I am, but then she comes at me like, “Are you going to be committed since this isn’t permanent?  If they decide they don’t need you after November will that be a problem for you?”  At this point I don’t even care, however, I informed her that I do have other applications out there and that I needed something perm and not long term temp to stay in Atlanta.  She understood, thanked me for being honest and told me to think about it over the weekend.  Her whole issue is that she didn’t want the image of the company tainted by me accepting a position and then leaving before it was over.  WHATEVER!!!  I need money and more than 5 hours a day of work.  So I think on Monday I’m going to say I’ll do it without giving her any more info on my situation.  Shoot, a sista has to do what a sista has to do.
Now that I have successfully passed all phases in this other job I’ve applied to they tell me that  I gotta wait some more because I’ve now been placed in their ready pool.  WTF
Another issue is that I seem to be gaining weight.  I guess my body thinks I’m trying to starve it so it’s holding on to any piece of food I eat.  Can a girl get a break please?!?!
And why is something biting my cat???  She had a bump, scratch or something by her ear the other day.  Yesterday I found another one.  What makes it so apparent is the fact that she’s white and these bumps are red from blood.  This second one is closer to her eye.  No money to take her to the vet so I’ve become the doctor my damn self, welllll, me and my mom.  I’ve been calling her, taking pics of her ear and emailing them to her like my cat is a baby.  All I know is if I see one more bump she’s going to the real M.D.  I’m wondering if since the first bump was healing it caused her to scratch the area and create another abrasion.  I’ll keep my big eyes on it.  That baby.
I think I’ll keep the rest of my issues on the other side of the screen for now. 

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