Blues Notes

When Relationships Go Bad

What’s really good in relationships these days? The more I look around the more I find an influx of singleness. And these aren’t overnight hookups either. They are the relationships that were built on solid foundations. So what has happened?

Infidelity is probably the number one answer. However, I think it goes deeper than that. It’s too easy to cheat on someone. I think what has set relationships in a state of destruction is the fact that people simply do not want to put in the work anymore. It’s hard work being in a relationship, I’m not going to lie, but can a relationship truly survive if there is no struggle?

Think about it … You and (insert name of choice) are in a relationship. You get along great, have tons of things in common. No arguments. Life is just sweet potato pie and Blue Bell homemade vanilla ice cream. Sounds great, right? Look a little deeper. There’s no resistance. Nothing to strive for because everything is already great. No make-up sex. Catch my drift.


Now, you and (insert name of choice) are in a relationship. You get along great, have tons of things in common. Occasionally, there are arguments, minor disagreements, and maybe one or two major blowups. The fights help you see things from different perspectives. You learn more about each other. You learn more about yourself. You’ve made it through the storm. You’ve learned each others’ strengths and weaknesses. There is growth. There is plenty make-up sex.

See the difference?

Then why are people so ready to call it quits when they experience a few bumps in the road? It’s the same way when stuff is given to us. We don’t value handouts. Someone gives us something and we don’t cherish it as much as we would had we spent our own hard earned money on it. We get the hookup on a new job; it doesn’t mean as much because we didn’t sweat through multiple interviews and wait for the phone to ring to tell us we got the job. We win the lotto and $300 million is gone the next day. But if we worked and built an empire, we’d know how to make it last the rest of our life and the generations to come. Struggle is a part of life. Putting in work is a part of life.

Would we trust God if we hadn’t gone through a rough patch and He saw us through? Would He work as hard to protect and provide for us if we lived such a straight and narrow life? He gave His life for our sins. He knew we were going to mess up. He knew we’d have struggles. And He is always there to help us pick up the pieces.

So why are we so quick to throw in the towel when trials and tribulations enter our relationships? If the person is worth it, put in the work.

This is Jewells signing out…

Discussion Points

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