Blues Notes

Premature Closure

Lately I have been beating myself up for not being able to lose these feelings for my ex. We’ve been apart since July ’07. However, most recently, we were together in December. Though we weren’t together as a couple, I stayed at his house for a few days while in town. While there, I was able to see what it was that attracted me to him in the beginning. There were moments when I questioned why we were apart in the first place. I had to accept the fact that we were apart for a reason and I had to be okay with that.

Before December, I was good. I was able to think about the possibility of dating other people and moving on with my life. I was in a good place. Well, seeing him put things back in perspective: I was not over him. I was not ready to move on just yet. Our breakup wasn’t major. It was from a lack of communication that finally came to a head, especially with 322 miles between us. Though a lack of communication is a major thing, we both felt that on different terms things could’ve worked.

As I was saying, as of late, I have been mad with myself because I can’t seem to find the closure that I need. I’m trying to force closure. If I force something to happen when it is not time, I could cause more damage than good. If I force it, the closure is not genuine and my feelings will manifest in my life at an inappropriate time. Even though right now feels inappropriate for me on an emotional level, I am just glad that I am single and not mixing or confusing my emotions with the emotions for someone else. If I let my closure come when it is time, then I can feel confident in knowing that I have allowed the process to fulfill its course. At the end of the day that is what I want.

Just like having a child before 40 weeks can cause problems for the baby, the same goes for other things in life. Premature anything is not healthy. Though it can become healthy over time, it is unhealthy nonetheless.

Have you began or ended anything prematurely with negative results?

Blessings & Prosperity!

This is Jewells signing out…

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