Blues Notes

Struggle for Happiness

I found this old post from my blog back in ’04. Sometimes I still struggle with it, so I wanted to repost it here. Also, check out my poem, Renewal, that goes goes with it over at The Cerebrum.

“Settle it within yourself right now that you’re okay right where you are, because if you don’t, understand the chase never ends. It’s never the place, as in the geographical location, but your frame of mind. It’s all in your thinking; and when and if you do . . . , is it going to be enough? Settle it! You are just fine, right here! Stop the chase. It’s all an illusion to keep you running after what you already have right where you are. You are exactly where you need to be, making it “the best place to be”; so be there.”—Barbara Williams

Oh my goodness. Was this writer in my mind? How did she know the solution to my problem that she did not even know I had?

How long have I been seeking to be somewhere else other than where I currently am? Too long. Right here, at this moment, I am content but still looking to be somewhere else. Do I not know that it is OKAY to be satisfied in the present? Why does it always have to be more than what it really is?

For so long I have been searching for happiness in all areas of my life. Every day I’m on another search and every day I come up short because I can’t accept the “happiness” that I already have. So my chase never ends. I’m tired of running, looking, hiding, avoiding. I want to be open and set my mind free.

Do I have to come up with excuses because I didn’t wake up this morning wanting to write, do my hair, run those two miles or do 100 crunches? No I don’t. And does that take away from my being happy? No. So why have I been forcing myself to believe that something is wrong with me because I just don’t “feel like it” today? Good question. All this time I thought I was unhappy when I really wasn’t. Yes, I still strive to be better tomorrow than I was on yesterday, but that doesn’t mean that today I’m not happy.

It’s only so long that you can run from the truth before it catches up to you. Self is the cause of our own demise. Lack of understanding the fact and walking without the realization that we create our own happiness will keep us shackled to the chambers of our minds. I’m glad that I’ve found my freedom. I’m glad I found my happiness. Now I can breathe. Now I can fly.

Blessings & Prosperity!

This is Jewells signing out…

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