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Poetexts: This Place

This place
A place I relocated to due to circumstance
Relocation is something I’m used to because its DNA runs through my veins
I was conceived in the Philippines and entered the world in Panama City
Every two to four years my father received orders and we relocated to a new city
A new city, no choice of mine, but I acclimated and made it mine

This place
I loved relocating
It had become part of me, part of my history
Dropping off pieces of me in different cities, on different continents, in difference countries
Germany
That place had been my favorite
I can remember wanting to stay forever there
It was where I entered puberty and had my first kiss and…
The first boyfriend I never wanted to miss

This place
The list goes on of the many places I’ve been
Too many nameless cities and faces I care not to remember
But what sticks to my soul the most is the departure of me
Yes, I’ve relocated and departed many places, yet I was the one constant that remained
Except in this place

This place
I don’t quite remember arriving
Shoot, I can’t even remember packing up and deciding
I’m here, though
In this place where the me I once was, the me I could always look in the mirror and see, is no more
Where did she go?
Where did I go?
If you see her out there, let me know
Because the moment you find her, I swear I’ll pack my bags and go

This place
This space feels like such a waste
Wasting away potential and quite possibly blessings that stand before me, reaching out to me
If only my vision weren’t too blurry to see
They say you have to hit rock bottom before the breakthrough
If that’s the case, I’m at the bottom of the Jellenick Curve waiting on God to come through
Hear my cry, Oh Lord, in this place

This place
I’m tired of being here
It’s been over a decade putting up with facades
People feigning how much they like me when all along they seek to take two steps forward just to spite me
Smite me, speak against my worth as if they paid for me
Building me up to tear me down all because I forgot Who found me when I was lost
Jesus paid the ultimate cost to be the Boss
Of me
Who am I to proclaim I’m not worthy?
He said if I believe in Him and confess my sins that He would welcome me in…

It’s funny how I woke up one day and realized I was no longer in that place

It’s a new dawn, a new day
And in This Place, light keeps my soul awake

***I began writing this poem while in a dark place and never finished. By the time I got back to it, I was no longer in that place.***

What say you?

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